Home sweet Home

I don't know why but everytime I go home I'm so excited and after being home for about 1 day I already have enough. Does that happen to you aswell? You get super excited about something and then it just fades as soon as you finally have it? I almost feel bad about it.

This just keeps happening to me whenever I go home. That doesn't mean I don't love seeing my family but I just don't seem to fit in anymore it's weird.

Having one day with them is enough for me to catch up and see them again and after that I just miss my flatmates. The place where I grew up is not home for me anymore. I grew up there and I still enjoy coming back but home is with my friends and my flatmates now. I consider this new town I live in home but this little village still means a lot to me and will most certainly always be a part of me. I mean I grew up here how couldn't it be but I kinda outgrew it.m

Back when I was younger this little village used to be enough for me but now it's just so small at least for me.

Like my sister would come back every other weekend and hang out here but even if I could afford that ( she lives closer to where we grew up then I do) I still don't think I would do it. Okay lets be honest I'm sure I wouldn't do it. I just don't need it that much. I call my mum every now and then and that's fine, that's all we need. And when I'm here we go out for a drink and catch up. We are really close even though we don't see each other all the time. I would even say that I'm this close with my mum because I don't see her that much. Maybe I enjoy the moments we do have together more or maybe it is just the fact that this way she doesn't get enough time to go all crazy on me. And by crazy I mean all that annoying stuff that mums do which I'm pretty sure everyone knows lol. If not can we switch mums?

Just kidding my mum is the best. Growing up she used to let me do all kinds of crazy things and just always said that I had to make my own mistakes and that she couldn't stop me from getting hurt most of the time anyways. She could just warn me about things but whether I did them or not would always be up to me. And if I did get hurt she was there for me and I never once heard my mum say: I told you so. So she was pretty amazing but back then I didn't really know that but know I have really come to appreciate all the things my mum has done for me. For example my mum stop driving me around when I was 12 and told me that all the place I couldn't get to with my two legs, a bus, a train or my bike I didn't have to go to. Obviously at that time I thought she was the crulest mum every but it tought me that I could figure things out myself. That I didn't need my mum to organise everything for me or to drive me around, I learned that I was capable of doing that myself. And all the times where she would still pick me up somewhere meant a lot to me. I figured out that my mum wasn't my taxi and that she had other things to do then driving me and my sister around. One thing that is probably worth mentioning is the fact that I live in a small village and there is a lot of busses and stuff and most of the walking distances aren't to bad either. So I really was fine on my own. And if I wanted to go out at night my dad would come with his bike and pick me up although I'm pretty sure that nothing would have happened if I would have gone home by myself.

My mum always tried to raise us so we would be able to live our own lifes when the time to move out came. And it might sound harsh but my mum told us that if we would go to university we had to move out. She would not let us live with her anymore because she wanted some time without kids even if that meant that she had to pay for our flat and everything else. So that is exactly what we did: move out and she is paying for our rent now. Cause as a student your not really able to pay for everything by yourself. That's just how it is.

My mum has always supported us with our decisions even if they were completely bonkers :D And if that was the case we would just laugh about it afterwards together :)

So I am pretty thankful for everything my mum did and still is doing. She is amazing and I don't think I tell her that often enough.

So everyone go to your mum give her a hug and tell her you love her because she deserves to know that.

x

J.

Incredible Work deserves to be Supported

Hi to everyone reading this. I hope you had a good start into the week.
Todays blog is about something a little more serious.
I subscribed to a channel on youtube called Jacksgap they have a lot of good videos on there but the new one really got to me.
So I wanted to share it aswell because the content is really important to me and I think the more people know about it the better. And also more people can help out :)

The Rainbow Center is a charity registered in the UK providing education, welfare and loving support to children living in extreme poverty in south western Sri Lanka.
I went to check them out after I had watched the video that Jack and Finn did on their channel. I read through their homepage and I have to say I really admire their work, it seems like something that really helps people out.

I always thought that helping people who aren't as lucky as I am is something that I kinda have to do. It's almost an obligation for me. 
And I know not everyone feels that way but I just think that donating 10€ a month won't kill me or make a lot of difference for me but it will make a difference for other people.
I donate money every month to "Uno-Flüchtlingshilfe" who support people that had to flee their homes for whatever reason. They build tents and just trys to provide the most simple things we need to live. 
I mean I consider myself privileged for being able to go to school and now to university, for having enough to eat and never having to worry about how I'm gonna survive the next day. 
I know I also hated school when I was younger but now I know I should consider myself lucky for being given that opportunity. 
So why not help kids who don't have that opportunity if no one donates money? I think I can spare a lot more then 10€ a month and as long as I think that it helps people I'm gonna keep donating money and hopefully make someone child somewhere in the world smile because they have just been given the chance to go to school. The chance to get an education and a chance to live a better life then their parents possibly did. 

So watch the video and if you can why not donate some money to make some kids smile?

x
J.

Family

My family is awesome but I guess a lot of people say that about their family. Well mine also is a little bit crazy but that's just the way I like them :) Most of my life a have lived about 250 km away from one of my cousins and she is such an amazing friend. She probably is the best friend I have I can tell her anything. Yeah so we have lived quite far away from each other for 20 years and then last year when I moved to go to University we ended up only living a 45 minutes train ride away from each other whcih is awesome. We now try to meet up at least once a month which we don't always get to do cause she is very busy and I'm aswell but today was one of the days where we managed to do it.
So I hopped on the train around lunchtime and we went to a little restaurant called 'Schall und Rauch' and it's a lovely little place. They have really good food and a big variety aswell. So we enjoyed our lunch and then headed to Starbucks for coffee, cause who doesn't love a good Starbucks?
 
And the silly and crazy people we are: that's what happened :D

I mean eating a mufinn the normal way:  booooring :D
So as you can see we had a good time at Starbucks and a lot of fun even though the other customer probably thought I was some crazy person... But who cares what other people think?

After that I had to go home but not before we found a little store in the train station and just had to play with their toys. It was crack up especially this one:

Hope you could laugh about it too :D

Have a good night everyone

x
J.

Baking and Hot Chocolate

So like I said yesterday todays post is going to be about food.
For the last two weeks I liturally had no time for cooking or baking at all which I usually do a lot. I had no time for it cause I was studying real hard for an exam I had on friday. I epically failed last semester cause I would have needed only 0.5 point more to pass. Yeah so I had to retake it this semester which really pissed me off and since I wanted to make sure that never happened again I didn't do much apart from trying to get all the grammar of Middle High German in my head.
Not a very fun topic and in my opinion completly useless ( I think most of the people studying German will probably agree, if not let me know and we can have a heated discussion about it lol)
So yes there have been many things I wanted to try out before I would post them here but there was just no way I could spend 3 hours in the kitchen baking stuff. I know a cake doesn't take that long to make but when I do bake I like to get a really good result I'm a bit weird with that I guess. I get a little perfectionist now an then.
So there is 3 things I tried so far but the 3. isn't ready yet and to be honest I havn't got round to translating the recipe yet :D Apart from that: I havn't tried it either so I don't actually know if it is any good, even though it looks really good.
Back to the things I have made:
I spend all of friday evening in the kitchen making cinnamon rolls and me and my flatmate had them for breakfast this morning ( well not all of them :D)


So that's what our breakfast looked like. Yes we had some strawberries with it so we would have at least something that would make us feel good about this breakfast :D But whipped cream is just soooo good.....

Cinnamon roll, Strawberries, Hot White Chocolate with Raffaello

 Now to the 'How-To-Make-This'-Part :

Cinnamon Rolls

Recipe

Ingredients:

500g       flour

42g         yeast

60g         sugar

250 ml    milk

150g       soft butter

140 g      brown sugar

1 tbls      cinnamon ( you can use more if you want it'll just be more cinnamony haha)

50g         icing sugar

a view drops of vanilla essence

How to make them:

Warm the milk up a bit in a pot or you can just do it in the microwave for about 30 seconds. It doesn't have to be hot just so it's warm ( you should be able to still put your finger in ;) ). Put the yeast in the warm milk and mix it with a tbls from the 60g of sugar you have. After that you put the flour in and knead to a smooth dough. Put the dough in the oven at 50°C  and let it prove for around 15 minutes. 

After that put 100g of the soft butter in (not totally melted but soft enough so you can squish it easily with your hands) along with the rest of the sugar. Knead till it is a nice smooth dough. Place it back in the oven for another 20 minutes. 

Put some flour on wherever you wanna roll out the dough and unroll it till it's like 1 cm thick. Melt the last 50g of butter and let it cool down for a bit so it's not totally hot when you put it on the dough. Dab the dough with the butter and spread the mixture of bronw sugar and cinnamon evenly on the dough. Furl the dough (best if you start with the samll side) and then cut it into 2-3 cm thick slices. Get some backing paper onto  a baking plate and lay them on there with the cut face pointing downwards. 

And then back in the oven they go for another 20 minutes of proving. After that they are finally ready to get baked. Around 25 minutes at 160°C on the lowest rail of the oven.

Mix icing sugar with a bit of water and some drops of vanilla essence and spread it over you cinnamon rolls once they are cold. How much water you need depends on how thick you want your icing to be :)

You'll get around 16 cinnamon rolls out of this recipe.

Hot white chocolate with Raffaello:

Recipe
Ingredients:

Milk

Cream

White Chocolate

Raffaello

Whipped Cream

a bit of cinnamon

Basically how much milk/cream/white chocolate you need depends on how much of this drink you actually wanna make. For one mug you have to fill it half with milk and half with cream (for more than one just do it more than once :D). For every two cups you need one bar of chocolate and you need 3 Raffaellos for each cup.

How to make it:

heat up the milk and cream and always keep stiring otherwise it might burn in. As soon as it's boiling you can put the chocolate in, when all of it is melted your drink is almost ready. Just put 3 Raffaellos in your cup and pour your drink in then decorate it with whipped cream and cinnamon.

( I 'stole' this recipe from a German Youtuber called daaruum)

I had a lot of fun making both those things and it was an amazing breakfast this morning. Another reason why we had strawberries with it is, that both the cinnamon rolls and the hot chocolate are really sweet so we kind of neaded something a little less sweet to go with it.

 A little side not: I can just hardly advice you not to make cinnamon rolls if you want others to think your an amazing cook because they look so good. Or if your just like me because you will go mental I can tell since that's what happened to me. Don't get me wrong they taste amazing but they just don't look anything like the once you can buy in shops. I tried to make them look like it but I gave up and decided that them tasting good had to be enough :D So it's not gonna look like art but it sure tastes amazing :)
And if you can get them to look like the ones in a shop: Tell me how you did it!!!! 


I hope you have fun making these things and especially eating/ drinking them 

x
J.

When Life gives you Lemons...

I think everyone has those days where you just wanna go back to bed and hide out there till the next day starts. But you have to go out anyways and take everything that life throws your way.
That's why I love this saying so much: When life gives you lemons make lemonade.You can't change the srap day you are having but you can most certainly change the way you feel about it. 
THOSE days can be challenging but if you get through it you will feel so much better. And I know life can be a bitch sometimes and it is really easy to just pity yourself until it's over but where will that get you? 
I love the fact that people who really had a lot of stuff happening to them are so happy sometimes even happier and more positiv than people whose lifes have been going smoothly. I'm always amazed when I see a handicapped person that I can help but pity is just so full of life. They are truly amazing people and very inspirring. If they can go through life the way they do why can't we even manage to smile on a s*** day?
I know it's hard but I really intend to do better at that. 
Especially after a really good freind introduced me to this short film. I have to say I was very girly about it and creid ( I usually don't do that). It is such an inspiring story so I would advise you to watch it it will be 23 minutes well spend. I sure you ahve spend more than that on less sensible things today lol ( I know I have :D)

It's called Butterfly Circus and it's about this guy without limbs but check it our for yourselves. 

Make lemonade everyone. 

x
J.


p.s: quick note about tomorrow! I have been cooking and baking new things the last couple of weeks and there was some really good things among all the stuff I made which I intend to share with you guys :)

A Life worth Living

We all have it. We are all given the same thing what matters is what we do with it. 
Zach Sobiech died on 20. May this year but he made his life worth living. He died of cancer but the cancer wasn't able to kill his spirit and I truely think he was an awesome person. Even thoguh I don't know him his story is inspiring not only to people with cancer but to all of us. We can learn something from him.
And I really believe that although his disease was a horrible thing to happen he manage to trun it into a good thing.

He lived life to the fullest, never knowing if the great day he just had would be his last.
So lets honour our life and live every day like it could be our last because you never know what might happen.

x
J.

Those Moments that change you

So 3 month ago to the day I had an operation after I had been in a car accident. And today I am finally back to normal. At least as normal as it can get after something like this happens to you.

But first things first:

I wasn't the one driving the car I only sat in teh back seat but my injuries were the most severe. I don't remember much how it actually happened the last thing I do remember is seeing us drive towards the other car that we crashed into. I have a view memories of me lying on the street after my sisters boyfriend hat pulled me put of the car but other than that I don't remember anything. The next thing that is clear is me waking up in hospital, I was told later on that I had been unconscious for most of the time cause I hit my head pretty bad on the car window.

I have memories that I would say fit into maybe 10 minutes form me being in the emergency room but my mum says I was awake and unconscious on and off for about 45 minutes.

Waking up for the first time I was disorientated I had no idea what was going on and couldn't even remember what had happened before I woke up. I couldn't remember getting in the car with my sister and her boyfriend or even being at home at all. The last thing I remebered was me getting on a train to go home for a weekend. So I felt pretty lost and scared cause I had no idea what was going on and everything I saw was so blurry so everthing just didn't seem that real to me.

I remember this doctor pulling tubes out of my arm and attaching new ones just constantly fiddling with things and being really busy. But I couldn't see her properly and thats when I started thinking about things and coming out of shock I guess. I felt helpless and I wasn't able to move and than the pain hit me, it liturally felt like someone was sitting on my chest but I couldn't scream cause I didn't get enough air. Breathing was so hard and I got so frightened till I heard my mums voice. It was this weird moment when I felt her holding my hand and she started takling to me. I have no idea what she said but I know exactly how I felt. I still felt the pain and I knew something was really wrong but at the same time I knew everything was going to be okay because my mum was there with me. It was so calming and I never thought that my mum ( at my age) could still ahve that much effect on me but in times like that you discovere that bond to your parents on a whole different level. I can only imagine it having felt that way as I was younger.

So I was still freaked out but at least I wasn't alone anymore and there was someone who had all the answers to the things I needed to know. And with all that relief I felt the words just bubbled out of my mouth as I was trying to tell my mum where i was hurting and at the same time I was trying to listen to the doctor to figure out what had happened.

So I foung out that my sternum was broken some ribs were cracked and they weren't sure if my hip was okay or not and if my ankle might be broken aswell. Also I had punktured my lungs witht he borken ribs but they would jsut give me oxygen and that would be all tehy could do about that.

Next thing I know I was in a room but I have no idea how I got there I guess my brain just blocked my memories about the most paoinful moments or something. I don't really know :)

My mum eventually had to go home after she and my dad had been there for another while and they said tehy would be back in the morning and asked if I would be okay. I was so high on peinkillers that I was just like: Sure you go one home I'll be fine. Turns out that was a really bad idea.

That night was really stressfull to me cause for the first time I really realised what would be happening to me. That there was no way this would be over fast. And I started thinking about all the things I woudl be missing ( this happend after my semester break had just started so all my vacation I had planned wasn't going to happen) . I was really stressed out about everything I was in pain, I was getting oxygen with this tube through my nose that was really itcy but I couldn't move casue there were needles and tubes everywhere. Every half an hour the EEG automatically scaled my blood pressure and I constanly listened to my heart rythm beeping. and if that wouldn't have been enough I needed to pee quite alot that night which is not very pleasant when you can't move let me tell you that and the woman in the bed next to me was snoring really bad.

I must have dozed off a couple of times because of the morphine I was getting but I didn't really sleep.

So I was basically lying there not able to move and not able to sleep waiting for it to be morning so my parents would be back or for the moment I would wake up from this really bad dream. I still couldn't believe that this was the situation I would be in for the next 6 weeks. In some way I was still convinced that all of this was a really bad joke and I would jsut get up and walk out of the hospital the next morning, that was what I told myself so I would get through the night. Some part of me knew that was not going to happen but I wasn't goign to admit that to myself at this point.

 

The next morning eventually came and the doctors came to check on me. I hadn't been allowed any breakfast which freaked me out again cause I had no idea what was going on. So when they came they told me I would be operated today which was the reason I wasn't allowed to eat anything.

So I was stressed out not having slept the night and my parents weren't there yet so I paniced. I started crying and was a total mess. I felt like the world was going to end cause there was no one here with me on my side to tell me I was going to be okay or just hold my hand to give me some strenght cause god I felt like all energy was drawn from me.

I found out thast my colar bone was also broken which explained why I wasn't able to move my left arm without fainting. And than I was like: wait... what? Borken colar bone? My hip is broken and my ankle and some ribs and my sternum but no one ever said something about a broken colar bone. Thats when I really lost it cause it was 10 minutes past 10 am and my parents weren't there yet ( they had said they would be there at 10 am) and I just had no more energy to fight this battle on my own. One of the doctors came to sit next to me and started stroking my hand while explaining to me that the x-rays had shown that my hip and ankle both were fine. And than he started that child locig where he tried getting me to agree with him that a broken colar bone was way better than a broken hip bone. Like explaining to a three year old that the red balloon is way cooler than the blue one that just burst. And at that moment it seemed so logic to me, thinking back to that moment now I really havve to laugh. I mean Im 21 and he reasond with me like you would with a 3 year old lol. It was the only logic that worked for me at that point I could deal with operations if that meant getting out of hospital sooner.

But by the time my mum walked into the room I burst into tears and called her name reacing for her with my right arm ( the only thing I could really move :D). I just needed her comfort really bad. I have no idea how my mum must have felt at that moment but I sure as hell know I never wanna find out. 

From there on thisn started getting better they operated on me on a Tuesday ( accident was saturday evening) because they had to wait for my lung to heal. On Wednesday, when they took me off the good stuff and just gave me pills I also found out I had a broken tailbone because I just simply couldn't sit :D 

After that things stared getting better.

 

I still had some scratches, bruises and a pretty long scar on my colar bone but I finally knew for sure that I was going to be okay. I knew what would happend next and in some way I had control over my life again.

Cause to be fair that was the worst part of the whole thing. I had no control whatsoever about anything that had happpened to me or was to happen.

After I got out of hospital I lived with my grandma for a bit cause I just wasn't ale to do anything on my own. I couldn't even pull my pants down by myself cause I wasn't able to bend over. It's a really weird feeling when you know exactly what you need to do to get something done but you have to watch somebody else do it. I never realised how lucky I was being healthy and everything.

I got visits from my best friend while I was in hospital and that was probably the day I started laughing again which hurt like hell but felt reallg good :D I still was frustrated from time to time when I couldn't sleep at night because my back hurt or my butt did but at least I could laugh again.

 There is two things I learned from this accident:

1. If you hold a grude against someone the only one that suffers from that is you. The other person won't get affected at all and you will feel bad for no reason. I mean yeah at first I was pretty pissed at my sister, after all she was the one who got me into the whole thing but I realised that being mad at her only made me miserable it didn't do anything to her at all.

2. Life is to short to do things you don't like. I know this sounds so cliche but it is so true. I realised that my life could have been over that day. I know in teh beginngin people always said to me: You were so lucky it could have been worse. And all I thought was: It's bad enough believe me I don't need worse. I mean yeah I get it I could have died but in a moment were you are in pain you don't give a fuck about it being worse you just want it to get better. Looking back  I know it could have been worse and I get it. I greatful for being alive and I'm not gonna waste one more moment with things that I'm not 100% sure about. If I feel like something is not right for me I will try to change it till it feels right to me. I know that can be risky at times but I also know how one moment can change the whole picture.

And this is what I have to always remind me of those two things:

 So today is the day where everything goes back to normal. I am healthy again I am allowed to do everything again even though I still have some problems from time to time I'm fine because this is me know. I am a cyborg with titanium in my body but that's who I am now. And even though that scar might look aweful to some people I came to like it :)

Accept who you are and you will be the most true version of yourself :)

x

J.

Music

Music is such an amazing thing and there is so many ways of expressing it. 
There is just this way music can make you feel or give you a certain kind of mood that makes it so unique. It's one of the best forms of art that are out there. I love theater and paintings and all of that but there is nothing like a good concert. The whole energy of music and the poeple listening to it is incredible.
Whenever I write a post for this blog I listen to the same playlist over and over again. I don't know what it is about those songs that makes wirting so much easier. But it also works the other way round whenever I think about this blog or what I could write about I always have the lyrics and the melody of these songs in my head.
And I guess all of you know the feeling when a song just instantly makes you feel good or wanna go clubbing. I have those songs where I have to start dancing, there just is no way round it and they put you in this 'going-out' state of mind. Like I get that feeling whenever I hear Welcome to St.Tropez cause that song was playing non stop when we went on holiday with my whole year after our A levels. It was an amazing week and there was a lot of drinking and clubbing involved but it was so much fun. Another song that might seem a bit silly is Everybody von den Backstreet boys (I know but it jsut give me this feeling :D) and my cousins and me used to dance to it when we were little lol.
And there is a lot more songs out there that trigger certain emotions in me but listing them all would take way to much time :)
There also is so many ways of making music. I mean for example with tins or even brooms. There is no limitations to how music can be created or how it should sound and that's what makes it somultifaceted. So here are some people that I think did quite a good job with making music. and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

this is from Pentatonix and Lindsey Stirling (I had a chat with someone about her not that long ago... but I don't remember who it was. I think I said something about not liking her that much... changed my mind :D)

pretty creative this one :) I didn't know you could do that with your phone, weill I guess I couldn't :D

not the best quality on this one but I just love it :)

 And one just has to love Stomp right? 

 They also made this movie about what they do. It is really incredible what kind of sounds they can produce with what looks like scrap. You can go check it out here : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnStwtsrs8c

And don't you just sometimes wish our live had a sountrack aswell? I just get these moments were I think it would be really cool to have a song playing along with what is happening to me like it always is in movies :)

x
J.

Moving out

Moving out. A big deal? I don't know, for me it was the inevitable thing to happen after I came back from New Zealand.
I had practically lived on my own for a year, I say it like this cause I mean I was living with host parents but that's not comparable to living with your parents. And after I knew how it was to live alone, moving back in with my parents was so weird. Having them round all day felt like I was constantly being watched and I started to fall back into old habits. I didn't want to be that person anymore, the person I was before I went to New Zealand but I cought myself doing stuff the old me would have done. And aside from that I just couldn't be around my parents 24/7 anymore I had lived without it for a whole year, it was nothing I could just go back to. And I mean I lived without even being able to call them whenever I wanted. There were times when we didn't talk for like 2 months and I would just send an E-mail saying I was okay every two weeks.
So living with them was strange and I just wasn't able to do that anymore. I got back in late July last year and moved back out on 1. September. So I was with my parents for a month but even in that time I was on holiday for a week and than started going back and forth between the city that I live in now and home looking for a flat. So I wasn't really home that much in August. And that was exactly the way I needed it, I would have gone mad if it had been any other way. I mean I love my mum and my dad and most of the time even my sister but I didn't need them anymore the way I needed them before going away. We still are close and I talk to my mum on the phone for hours sometimes and that is really cool, I love having them here but being back in the hosue I grew up in still feels strange in some way. It feels like I don't belong there anymore and the village I grew up in is really small so compared to the city I know live in it's tiny. It's cool to have them visit me cause this is my place now and I can't really describe the difference between having them here and visiting them but it feels right if they come visit me. I mean yes occasionally I go home cause my grandma also lives there and she can't travel that easily but that happens like once in 2 months or something like that. 
I love living on my own goign to University, organising my days and going food shopping for myself. Yes it took me a while till I had that all figured out but now that I do this is my home. I have my friends here, my flatmates, my room and my life.
The only thing I really regret about moving out is not having thought of this:
(It's such an amazing idea next time I move out im totally gonna do it)

I got that video from their channel on youtube. It's called Jacksgap. They do a lot of fun stuff so if you have some spare time on your hands go check them out :)


x
J.

And we are back to Flatmates

I think most of you have realised by now that I'm at University... for all of you who haven't: I'm at University lol. 
And there is like heaps of webistes about how to live as a student and like tutorials on how to cook and all that kinda stuff. So while going through one of this sites I found an article about this girl who wrote about living in flats. And as someone who lives with other people aswell I thought I should read it, as I did I got genuinely offended by it. I thought it was a little harsh and rude to be fair. 
So basically she writes about moving in with a guy and the bottom line is that she thinks we as girls should live with boys who we personally find unattractive. Her reason for saying this is that she thinks if you live with attractive guys you will end up hooking up with them and that can only lead to problems. 

I mean common what does that say about us women? I don't jump the bones of every guy I find attractive smh. I mean I get the whole things getting complicated part but common. The other thing is I think it's quite rude to basically ssay your flatmate is ugly, poor guy if he reads that article!
Yeah so I think there is some things really wrong with that. At least for me.
First things first: None of my flatmates are unattractive at least not to me ( if I just met them on the street I would totally hook up with them). That said I would never do it now that I'm living with them. So I have 3 attractive guys living with me and I havn't hooked up with any of them and I don't plan on doing so anytime soon or at all for that matter. 
And that is not only because they are my flatmates. I don't really know how to say this the right way but I'm just gonna try lol.
I think that when you live with someone you get to know them on a whole different level than you would if you met them in a club or something and got talking. There just is something more intimate about living together you have different conversations. I mean we had the whole getting to know each other part aswell, like you do with every new person you meet but we moved on from that. They are my friends but they are not like the friends I have, that I don't live with. 
With those I don't have an argument about who's gonna clear out the dishwasher or who left the window open again which caused me to freeze my ass off.
With things like that you get to know someones day to day life all their habits they have and that's just something you don't usually know about your firends. I mean who hasn't been on holiday with a close freind and at some point started to wonder about the weird things they did, like putting toothpaste on your toothbrush and than just brushing your theeth without any water on it. Or not putting things in the dishwasher right away... I could go on and on about this but I guess you know what I'm trying to say. 

So yes that's things you don't usually know about a guy you meet. I mean at some point I might move in with a boyfriend but that is a completly different story. If you are with someone  that you are in love with you have the getting to know part than you ge thte falling in love part and after all that there might be the moving in together part at which point you will get to know your partners habits. But you have the romantic stuff before that.
So they way it was for me is that now I know all this stuff about them there can just not be the romantic stuff after that. And yes hooking up with someone doesn't necessarily involve a relationship or anything romantic but still not an option for me.
I just now my flatmates to well and as soon as there is nakedness involved I get to a point where I'm like: Ok wrap that up in some clothes please that is way to much infromation.
For example when my flatmate was pretty drunk he decided he had to take a shower which is fine. Knock yourself out. The problem just is that he got undressed, winded a towel round his hips and then thought it would be a good idea to walk into my room and have a chat with me. I sat on my sofa and he was standing right in front of me, so needless to say that his most privat parts were rigth infront of my face only covered by a towel. And don't get me wrong here that is something that I'm used to and usually wouldn't mind at all but drunk people just don't have themselves under control. So the whole time he was talking to me all I could think about was: please don't drop that towel or things will get really awkward. And I kept staring at the ceiling lol. I'm not a prude person and I don't mind nakedness at all if it's the right people :D. Ad there just are some things baout my flatmates that I don't need to know and the size of their dick is one of them.

So no I don't think living with attractive guys has to lead to a desaster because you hook up with them. I'm just fine.
So what I wanna know is: am I the only one who thinks that it is totally doable?
I would love to know what a guy thinks about this... maybe I'll get one of my flatmates to write me something I can add to this post like from their point of view :)

have a good weekend everyone 

x
J.

Out with the Old in with the New

Back in April I went to an eye specialist and he prescribed me a new pair of glasses and now I finally got round to getting them :)

So when I went to the optician to get them I took one of my old ones and just wanted them to put in the new glas. When I showed the women the glasses she looked so shocked I thought I had done something wrong. Turns out I did in brining those glasses with me lol. She was so shocked that I would even consider ever wearing them again since she tought they looked like a pair I wore when I was 15 ish. I still don't think tehy looked that bad but I can see where she was coming from. So she liturally begged me to reconsider my choice and to just buy a new pair.
At first I was like: well of course she would say that she wants to make money and thats what she did want but she also wanted me to wear a pair of glasses that would suit me. And turns out for me it was even cheaper to buy a new pair than to get the glas in my old ones switched cause they had some special offer or something.
So she got me some pairs that she thought would look good and gave them to me so I could have a look and that's where it got a little tricky :D Cause I might not be completly blind but I'm blind enough to not see myself in the mirror unless I'm like 5 cm away from it. So trying them on was not the problem but I just couldn't tell how they looked on me lol
And again that woman was really cool she went to get the camera they had and took a picture of me with every pair I had tried on. That way I chose a new one and they did the rest.

 So today I went to pick my new pair up and I was surprised as to how much it changed the way I look. That new pair of glasses brings out whole different feature of my face and it looks very different from the way it did before. It took a little time to get used to it but now I'm just so happy I listened to that womam and bought them.
Have a look for yourselves :

thats my old ones :)

and that is my new pair :) I already love them :)




So I took a chance and it turns out it was a good one.
So risk something from time to time, try something new and don't just stick with the stuff you know and the things that are save because the new things might just surprise you.

x
J.

Happy Face

Say Hi to this happy person :)

This is me everyone and what made me happy today is the simple fact that I enjoy my life :)

What made you happy today?

Back to boys

I don't know who asked me that lately but someone wanted to know how hooking up with your best friend turns out. I gotta say I have hooked up with a couple of men but my best friend was not one of them. At least not in a way that counts. So I don't really know what happens when you do. But I guess hooking up with a good friend is close enough and I have done that. More than once to be fair :D And I have to say for me it has worked quite well so far. 
But I totally see how it can get complicated. I don't know if it's just my friends that are so open about this or what it is but it has worked so far. 

So basically with my friends it has just happened at one point. And I am not at all saying it has happend with all of my male friends, that would be so weird. But it has happened with more than one and I'm still friends with all of them. 
And especially with one of them our relationship has come out of it stronger than before. We trust each other on a hole different level. And I know that he would never judge me for the things I do and that goes both ways. It's just that now that we have that whole "being naked" part behind us it can't get any more intimate. And I'm nowhere near to saying that this is how it always is cause it's not. 

It went pretty wrong with one of my friends we don't even talk anymore. After it had happened we kinda never spoke again till today I have no idea what happened we just never talked again. I lost a really good friend that day and looking back I have to say I would rather have kept the friend than have 1 hour of great sex. Cause I mean the sex ends but the friendship would have gone on and we really got each other. So he is a friend I lost because we slept together but he pretty much is the only one. 
And he wasn't my best friend not even close to that cause if he were I wouldn't have done it.  I wouldn't trade my best friend for anything. He is a really important person to me and even if we don't see each other that often I know that I can always rely on him. When I went to New Zealand we were apart for one year and still after I got home it was like I had never left. We will always have this connection and I don't know if sleeping with him would ruin that or not. But I'm not really willing to find out :)
So I couldn't tell this friend how it turned out but I can tell everyone that I would really think about it before I do it because if you end up loosing this really good friend you will regret it. And there is no way of coming back from crossing the line of friendship and sleeping together that will always be there. 

So I don't know how it is to get in bed with you best friend and what happens after that but I can tell you one thing: Sleeping with your best friends brother is not a good idea lol

But everyone has to make their own mistakes and who knows it might be worth trying and you end up married to your fromer best friend ;)

x
J.

Life

So for today there is just a real short post since everything has been a lil weird today :)
Especially when you get up at 6.30 am to go to university and the last minute before you go out decide to check your mails and luckily I did cause both my Professors for the day were sick so no uni for me and I got up for nothing :)
And things like that just kept coming my way today haha

Got this from Holstee

 I can only speak for myself but I know for a fact that I should live like that more often....

So grab life by it's roots and live it to the fullest.

x
J.

Real Beauty

Today it's all about beauty :) And first of all: I don't think that this is just a problem women have I think everybody knows the feeling of not being happy with the way they look. It's only human but I guess there has to be a line we shouldn't cross as to how unattractive we think we look. Because at some point it gets unhealthy and than we start loosing control and most of all self-confidence. And self-confidence is something that is so important. 
In my opinion if you don't have any self-awareness that is exactly would you emanate. And even if you are really pretty but think of yourself as someone who is ugly people will precieve your beauty a lot less.
It's a video I saw online that got me thinking about this. I know some might think now: she only ever blogs about videos on youtube, but I don't. At least I don't just post them to entertain you but because I actualy think that we can somehow learn something from them. Or that at least I did and that I wanted to share the thoughts I had with you, so maybe you guys might get something out of watching and reading this, too. 
So here it goes :

 I mean of course  I knew women are self-critical honestly who doesn't ? lol
What I didn't expect was for it to be that bad. Do we really think we look thaaat bad? I mean common none of these women really looked as unattractive as they made themselves look like. It was quite interesting to see how different the two sketches were. Not even the ones where the women got descirbed by strangers where acurate, but at least they got fairly close. 
So what this video proved to me is that we should not be that self-critical with ourselves or we don't even have to be, if you wanna go that far. We should enjoy what we have because others don't look at us through our eyes. They don't know that our mother told us we have the family nose (which might be a snub nose) and they don't care if we think that we have to many wrinkles around our mouth when we laugh. They don't see all the mistakes that we apparently have (according to ourselves).Every new person that we meet has her own way of seing us. 
So to all the women out there:
 Cheer up ladies we really do look pretty even when we can't see it for ourselves. So if someone tells you you are beautiful don't think about all the thinks that you don't like about yourself just thank them.
We should enjoy ourselves only than can we be truly beautiful. 


I mean I can only speek for myself now but I'm not always happy with the way I look. I have days on which I find myself staring at the mirror thinking: todays one of those days where you just shouldn't leave the house :) It happens. I don't like everything about myself, but since I can't change it why complain about it non stop and make myself feel miserable?


x
J.

Snow White

I am a woman, obviously but is that the reason why I don't get men or is it just men themselves? Well I mean I'll never totally get them but most of the time I think I don't have to. And I guess we are women we will never be able to fully understand men. But for me right now it's not so much about understanding how they think it's about how they do things.
How I got the idea for this post? When I moved out at home I moved in with 3 guys. Sometimes I don't know how insane I must have been to move in here and voluntarily =D So here are some things for every girl that will get you through your days when you live with more than one guy.

1. You have to get used to them forgetting or ignoring the fact that you are a girl and fast. Cause there will be a day when you are in the bathroom brushing your teeth and someone walks in, starts undressing themselves and gets in the shower. First time it happened I was like omg this is not happening, next time I was more relaxed and now I honestly don't care anymore. So expect it and when it happens you'll be prepared =D Or you might have flatmates that just decide that it would be really nice to walk around naked when they are drunk. At some point you won't mind anymore and eventually you'll get worried when it doesn't happens haha

2. If your flatmates come up to you and want to know what their friend should do about this girl he met, don't ask what her name is. They will never ask again if you do. So just go with it, give your advice and just smile when their "friend" gets the girl =)

3. Accpet the fact that they think you are an expert on everything that concerns cooking or cleaning. They will stop thinking for themselves and just aks you for pretty much anything. So don't ecpect them to be able to cook gnocci (ones that have already been cooked and just have to be warmed up again). You will get asked if they can put them in a pan or if they have to be made in boiling water.  And you will certainly be the only person who knows how the vaccum cleaner works =D

4.The most important thing to know: Keep your private live even more private if you don't, you will never be able to live in peace again haha. Sneak in guys you wanna have over and sneak them back out in the morning and don't ever let your flatmates see them. You will have so many boyfriends that you can't even count them anymore at one point. Because every guy that just enters the flat will become one and all your flatmates friends will know aswell =)

And for the rest of the time: Dont try changing them, it'll be useless and just enjoy their company. You will be amazed as to how much they really care about you. There will be days when you feel like the center of their world. But there also will be those days when you just want to strangle them or stand in the hallway yelling until the  place is cleaned.
But all in all i really love living with them. You can have so much fun and the craziest things will happen to you.

One of my flatmates owed me money and so when he finally got round to giving me the money he realised that he had spend it on drinks in a club the night before :) So I gave him my account number and he transfered it into my bank account. And you know how you usually have to put in a reference on your wire transfer forms? Well he put in slave trade lol. So today when I got my bank statement it said: 11.50 € from my flatmate for slave trades :D It got me laughing so bad.
Thats the things were I don't get how men work. They sometimes say really weird things out of a completly normal content and you are just left being stunned at what their brains come up with.

And I mean it has got advantages living with 3 guys:
- the bathroom is most certainly always free and you can take as much tima as you need to get ready
- no one will be stealing your shoes to go out on a friday night
- you probably won't have to share your closet and no one is going to steal your socks
- no earrings, bracelets or necklaces will mysteriously disappear
and most important:
-there will be no catfights over really stupid things which honestly I hate more than all the dirt my dwarfs can produce in 3 weeks (it's a lot believe me =D)


So I love my three flatmates and when I don't feel like killing them I feel like Snow White and her 3 dwarfs.
Cause your flatmates might make you wanna punch them in the face most of the time but they'll manage to make you feel really special, like we are the only girl they can trust :) and isn't that all we really want girls ? =D


x
J.